The loss of a loved one confronts us with the contemporary social imperative summed up in the phrase “complete your mourning.” This phrase is in line with the psychological version, which, under the term “work of mourning,” systematizes and homogenizes an idealized standardization of the “closure” of the mourning process as a “goal” to be achieved. Vinciane Despret listens without prejudice to the stories of people who have lost loved ones, thus allowing for the creation of a free space in their conversations. She learns from the way in which the living she has met are able to welcome the presence of those who are leaving. One story led to another.

“I have a friend who wears her grandmother’s shoes so that her grandmother can continue to walk around the world. Another friend started climbing one of the highest mountains with her father’s ashes to share the most beautiful sunrises with him. Someone close to me, on the eve of his deceased wife’s birthday, prepares her favorite meal, etc.”

The author, wandering as a philosopher or rather a scientist, as a psychologist but also a social scientist (anthropologist), explores yet another possibility, yet another unexpected scientific “object.” She shows us how to escape the dilemma between “this belongs to the realm of fantasy” and “it is simply true and real.”

• Vinciane Despret is a philosopher (University of Liège).